The Spirit of Elvis

I am going to start this off by saying growing up in the 70's and early 80's I was not this huge fan of Elvis. I liked his music but I didn't go out of my way to listen to him. In fact my Dad watched Elvis movies and us kids would cringed. It wasn't until my college years with Blue Christmas playing on the jukebox that I started to appreciate the talents of the King. From then on little things happened in my life to remind me not to forget his legacy. Little things like going to see Stars on Ice with Scott Hamilton doing a tribute to the King. This connection with Elvis was passed down to my son. The first time he saw Clam Bake on TV he wanted Elvis Presley wall paper for his room. For Halloween that year, I had to sew an Elvis costume. (If you have ever worked with satiny material you will know the difficulties with this.) Anyway here is my story...











There was a time I was very active in getting my co-workers engaged in team building activities. These included on site and off site events. One event I organized was an outing to a mystery dinner theater. What fun we had. The actors were hamming it up and the audience was swimming in the mystery building around them. Throughout the evening various audience members were pulled into the plot and asked to do some crazy things. There I was sitting hoping I can join in on the fun. The story was going along and I was starting to think I will not have my chance. Just as I was giving up hope they called me up to participate in a hoax hypnosis act. I eagerly climbed up on the stage with two guys from the audience. We took are seats as they pretended to put us in a trance. The first guy was told to act like Marylin Monroe. What fun it was watching this middle aged man lip syncing Happy Birthday to the president then going into the audience and sit on the president's (my boss) lap. When the second guy was told he was to act like Shirley Temple my anticipation increased. The chance it just might be Elvis I get to impersonate was all I can think about. What would I do? How can I best convey the genius of the King? What if it wasn't the King but someone else:(? It was my turn and it was my lucky night. They handed me a big sunglasses with sideburns and a silk scarf. I was to act the ELVIS!!!!! The song coming out of the speakers was "Burning Love". Alright! I was going to be able to really rock this one. I jumped out of my seat and started the famous Elvis pelvic thrusts. I threw myself into the character of Elvis. The guys in Vegas could not hold a candle to me. The women in the audience were swooning as I threw out my silk scarf. As I danced among everyone I did the arm swing giving it all I had. At the end I got down on one knee and shot my arms in the air. Everyone was ecstatic. Now I knew what Elvis felt like with all his adoring crowds. At the end everyone had to vote who was the best impersonator and the crowd went wild voting for the King. As I stepped down, victorious, from the stage I was happy that I was able to do the King proud. Thank you, Thank you very much....

Crazy Day with the vending machine

As my day has been treading along I have been feeling drained and listless. I felt I needed to treat myself to some Doritos and a Coke. (The caffeine should wake me up from this fog.) I will I admit I did contemplate the ramifications of going against the norm and having two sodas in a week instead of one. Did I feel daring? Oh yeah! I made the commitment and dug for the money in my purse. Now I have not been having much luck with the infamous soda machine. On my other purchases I have had to try to enjoy near flat or warm soda with my favorite afternoon snack, popcorn. Anyone who has sat at a poker table through one bad hand after the next, knows the anticipation of chanting the phrase "The next one is going to be the winner." That was my attitude as I walked down that lonely hallway with my dollar bills clutched in my hand. As I inserted my money I wonder which of the four rows was going to be my friend and dispense the most flavorful of Cokes. The tension built as I picked number 40 and waited for the soda to drop. When I picked it up I was elated. It was really cold. My spirits dropped quickly when I saw the date on the bottle, Aug 24 2009. Is it August? (my heart beating fast) No it is September. I got a flat coke (sigh). I wasn't going to be discouraged that easily. I went to the office manager and got reimbursed so I can attempt another row. This time I was not going to rely on my own luck but asked everyone in the break room to help me choose the winning row. It was decided to try row 42 this time. I should have realize this was not a winning proposition when I found out the number was chosen because it was even. So is 40 and that did me no good. Out came the soda and it was dated Aug 24 2009. Oh the agony! After this second defeat I had to decide if my brand loyalty was going to win out over my need for a soda. I never got to make that decision. The third time I gave my money to spin the soda wheel it didn't like the dimes I resorted to using. It swallowed them up with out giving me my credit. Of course it wouldn't give them back. Now I wasn't going to let the loss of some dimes keep me from my soda so I found some big thick quarters. "This won't stick" I said with a crazed look in my eyes . Even though it can not be heard by human ears I am sure the soda machine was chuckling a devilish laugh as it spit out my quarters as I was putting them in. The gods, sitting up on high, have been looking down on me shaking their heads. When will I learn I am not getting a soda today. It has been quite humbling to be beaten down by the evil machine. The terminator has nothing on the diabolical schemes of this hunk of metal.

Shoe Addiction - 12 Step Program

Step 1 - Admit you can not live without shoes.

Step 2 - Rationalize why you deserve to have as many shoes as you want.

Step 3 - Don't worry about finding the best hiding place for your new purchases. Your husband can't tell one pair of shoes from another.

Step 4 - Make creative entries in the check book to hide the shoe purchase. (ie) D ept of S ewage and W aste

Step 5 - Dream about how happy shoes make you feel.

Step 6 - Think about feeling guilty about steps 3 & 4 but decide it takes up too much valuable energy. This can be better spent on trying on shoes.

Step 7 - Tell your husband after this next purchase you will not need new shoes for a while. That is until you find the next must have ;)

Step 8 - Spend a weekend afternoon trying on your shoe collection having fun matching them with the perfect outfit.

Step 9 - While eating that piece of cake smile because you know you will still fit into your shoes!

Step 10 - Hum "These Boots Are Made For Walking" of "Blue Suede Shoes" to block out the lecture your husband is giving about the decrease in the bank account.

Step 11 - Call all your friends (other shoeaholics) so you can get together for a shoe shopping spree.

Step 12 - Final step is to repeat 1 through 11 because it is soooo much fun.

New Orleans